{"id":104,"date":"2006-09-19T17:21:01","date_gmt":"2006-09-19T17:21:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valianthosting.ca\/clients\/daemon\/?p=104"},"modified":"2006-09-19T17:21:01","modified_gmt":"2006-09-19T17:21:01","slug":"i-am-broken-inside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/?p=104","title":{"rendered":"i am broken inside"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>&#8220;There&#8217;s nothing we can do.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When I hear those words from the mouth of a customer service representative, sales agent, or government employee, they make my blood boil. The instinct to fight harder or push to get what I want &#8211; most often an apology &#8211; kicks into overdrive. When the team of doctors finally say the phrase after a 2 year battle, I want to crawl into the corner and scream like a baby.<\/p>\n<p>I am watching my father die by inches.<\/p>\n<p>I am greedy. I am selfish. I am unwilling to let go. I am uncertain whether it will be possible to survive this daily struggle. I am already scarred and damaged. Such a short time ago he ruled the stage with such a huge personality &#8211; exploding at the seems with life &#8211; that it is killing something in side for me to watch him shrink and whither away.<\/p>\n<p>Gillian asked how he has managed to survive so long. The only thought that comes to mind is pure Scottish stubbornness. That can only carry you so far.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re going to try and bring him home this week. I think I&#8217;ll be home for Christmas.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"technoratitag\">Technorati Tags: <a rel=\"tag\" href=\"http:\/\/www.technorati.com\/tags\/cancer\">cancer<\/a>, <a rel=\"tag\" href=\"http:\/\/www.technorati.com\/tags\/death\">death<\/a>, <a rel=\"tag\" href=\"http:\/\/www.technorati.com\/tags\/pain\">pain<\/a>, <a rel=\"tag\" href=\"http:\/\/www.technorati.com\/tags\/mourning\">mourning<\/a>, <a rel=\"tag\" href=\"http:\/\/www.technorati.com\/tags\/father\">father<\/a>, <a rel=\"tag\" href=\"http:\/\/www.technorati.com\/tags\/dad\">dad<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;There&#8217;s nothing we can do.&#8221; When I hear those words from the mouth of a customer service representative, sales agent, or government employee, they make my blood boil. The instinct to fight harder or push to get what I want &#8211; most often an apology &#8211; kicks into overdrive. When the team of doctors finally [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friends-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=104"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/screamingpages.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}