catharsis
Scribbled down on November 26th, 2006 by she
Posted in Friends & Family
I have come to the not-so-amazing conclusion that personal blogs function very well as a form of therapy.
It’s been two months since my dad died. Time seems to fly and yet parts of my life seem to have stopped like a broken clock waiting for repair.
I’ve found that while I can’t really talk about the death of my father with many people face to face. I’m able to talk to my mom, sister or a few other family members. I can’t discuss it with my best friend or even strangers at this point. What I am able to do is write down my memories, happiness, anger, and explore my pain via blogging. It’s a purely selfish action on my part. While writing I can separate myself from the giant lump in my throat that always seems to appear the minute anyone mentions my dad or my loss.
To be honest, I don’t really know how to carry on a conversation with friends, strangers and acquaintences when it comes to my dad’s death. I adored my dad. I guess you could say I had a bad case of hero worship when it come to thinking of him in the past 10-15 years. Most of what I’ve grown up to be can be attributed in some way to the lessons he taught me as a child. Once out of my ugly angst filled teen-age years I really began to appreciate my dad. Unfortunately, I never really took the time to tell him how important he was to me and the person I became until I was too late.
It has forced me to accept – if nothing else – that I need to take more time to let those close to me know that they are loved and appreciated. I don’t feel much like sending Christmas cards this season but I can make the effort to call those we care about. When I’m more myself, I have a tonne of letters to write to friends and family who helped out in those last few months. Societal courtesies take a back seat to my pain at the moment.
Mom is spending the holiday season with us and will be arriving in less than a month. It would be nice if my sister will make the trip to Edmonton as well – we’ll have to wait and see what she decides.
Until then, I’ll continue to take a seat at the blog therapy table.
Technorati Tags: death, mourning, pain, therapy, blogging, catharsis,
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
November 27th, 2006 at 4:03 am
I know….i was very attached to my granddad who passed away when i was 8…..n then the pain is jus impossible to get rid off..and yes ive realised talkin to strangers abt ur problems is more comforting….
btw thanks for visiting
November 27th, 2006 at 6:27 am
I am sorry to hear of your family’s loss. We should always cherish our family and friends, and let them know how much they mean to us, while they are still with us.
November 27th, 2006 at 12:01 pm
A friend also just lost her dad and she has been chronicalling the last months of his journey on her blog..and is now dealing with the days after his death, at http://what-you-cant-see-is-me.blogspot.com/
i know I have also spoken of things not as heartbreaking, but still painful on THE COUCH it does seem easier to type and not have to speak the words.
My sympathies to you.
November 27th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
I’ve just found your blog so I’m sorry to hear about your dad. It’s good to see though that so many of us can find an effective way to come to terms with these events we all face.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:44 am
My very-good-friend (he may as well have been my brother) died on July 21. I know the feeling of how it’s difficult to talk about. I’m sure you’ve seen that I use my blog as a form of therapy. I think it’s a very good idea to be able to write down your feelings. At least it’s one way of expressing them. Something like the death of your dad is very traumatic and if you can’t express it any other way, then I think you should write about it. Those kinds of things have to come out someway somehow. If they don’t they just eat us away from the inside out.
I’m so sorry about your dad.