When I was considering returning to school to work on a PhD, one of the main pieces of advice I’d read was to keep a journal. Some recommended handwriting one – I tried that in my Master’s program and missed more days than I wrote – while others recommended electronic methods.

I had the best of intentions of tracking my progress – mainly what I’m thinking about the experience – via this blog. It existed. No one reads it. Seemed like the perfect avenue to get thoughts down into words.

And I’ve discovered that I just don’t have the focus and temperament to do so.

It’s not that I don’t like to write or babble about what I’m thinking. It’s an issue of time. Working full-time, then attempting to complete a “part-time” PhD that eats up more waking hours than my day job, leaves me with precious little time for extraneous writing. And, while I do think I need to find some way to set aside time to journal my PhD, not being able to do so regularly has become a source of stress and anxiety. Just what I needed…

I test packed and everything fit into my small bag. Yep, I ended up completing this task earlier than I expected to but I got into a full blown panic for an evening and needed something to focus attention on. Of course, my panic stems from not knowing if I’m really ready – mentally and financially – for this next big adventure.

Guess I’m about to find out…

While I’ve been reading lots of late, I haven’t had a lot of time for blogging. Hard to believe I used to do this daily. I have a horrible habit of letting weeks – or months, or years – pass before returning to the site in recent years.

I blame the whisky. And work. Oh, and knitting for charity. And sheer laziness.

Honestly, what’s really taken up my time and attention is the pre-school nesting process. Now that we’ve moved my sister into her new place, I’m beginning the process of tracking down textbooks and trying to book my flights and accommodations for the in-class segment of my program, I’m finding a lot of my time is being directed to trying to clean up my desk and study space in preparation for 5:30 am classes. Something in my life needs to be organized.

Of course, to declutter one room we need to declutter all the other rooms. Goodwill is the usual beneficiary of anything that my sister can’t use and it feels oddly liberating to let go of all the stuff we’ve accumulated over the past 20+ years. I’m sure we won’t miss it as some of it wasn’t touched in a few years!

Some things never change…

Muse about writing a weekly post so I don’t forget the important, or even random, things that happen in my life and *boom* a month passes. The only surprise I can claim in this is that I hadn’t noticed a month had flown by already! What I wouldn’t do for those long, lazy days of a childhood summer. We were so desperate to grow up and wanted time to pass quicker. Now I blink and entire months disappear.

I do have some news to share. After much worry and chewing of fingernails I’m thrilled to announce that I’ll be attending the Education Technology and Design program at University of Saskatchewan in the fall. It was much first choice in programs and I can’t wait to start.

Cue the whining about course loads and homework in 3…2…1…

A few years ago I returned to school thinking I’d shift into an entirely new career. It appears that we can’t leave the family businesses (Education OR Nursing) that easily. Just when we think we’re done, they suck us back in. After many moons of Military History and Psych classes, I know I wouldn’t make a good Therapist. I like to think I’m a decent Instructional Designer and I know I’m far happier doing this than I would have been completing mandatory counselling hours. Despite having grand plans to help others like me, I don’t think I’m cut out for regular interaction with people.

And so we fall back on what we know. And for once, we’re content. We think.

I joke a lot about being an unread blogger. So much so that it’s in my twitter and FB profiles. I’ve slid away from writing over the past few years. Not because I have nothing to say, but because I’ve got limited amounts of time and have found other venues for my craziness. That said, I think I need to ponder reviving the blog.

Months have passed between posts. I didn’t post my usual tribute to the members of my family who served in November. I didn’t post a giant celebratory message when I *finally* graduated from RMC or rant about my insecurity as I wait for notification relating to my grad school applications. There have been few posts about learning to live with a celiac diagnosis or what it’s like to spend years in a marriage with someone who is frequently away from home. Nothing about the amazing milestones our not-for-profit society has reached nor the people I’ve met through its development. I didn’t post about our family’s attempt to walk up a mountain and spread some of dad’s ashes.

I wonder how much more time will pass before these items, already disappearing, completely fade from my memory.

Perhaps I should start with a short weekly post. I’ve come to realize that I need the blog to act as my memory and if I don’t write my experiences, thoughts & random babbling down and stick it somewhere in the ether, I’ll never remember any of my life. Which is terribly sad in and of itself.