Last week I went home to SJ to attend the CNIE conference. It’s been a few years since I’ve been home so I spent an extra few days in the city and crashed at my mum’s place.

CNIE 2010 was special for me this year. It’s not the first time a paper I’ve been associated with has been presented at a conference, but it was the first time that I was involved in the presentation. Needless to say I was a bundle of nerves and Dr. D might have expressed some concern thet I’d become a babbling idiot during the presentation. I may have babbled a bit, but I certainly didn’t go off the rails and both Dr. D and N should have nothing to worry about career wise. Well, at least not due to being associated with me at this time.

Eating and exercising was a real challenge at home. Once the convention was over it wasn’t as difficult since I mostly ate at mum’s. Eating out can be a veritable mine field. Sometimes the healthy options can be filled with hidden fat, calories, sugar, etc. I decided that if I was going to go overboard on a meal or two then I’d best enjoy myself.  And with that decided, all was right with the world. Lobster stuffed cheesy mushroom caps found their way onto my plate.

I think this attitude really helped keep me on track while I was away from home. Rather than going overboard all the time, or denying myself constantly, I had the special splurge meals and the standard lifestyle change type meals. When all was said and done I returned home 0.8lbs lighter. I likely would have lost more weight over the time I was gone if I’d been less indulgent. But I think the important thing is that I continued to lose weight and still managed to do the social eating (lunches, trips to restaurants, etc.) that would have easily derailed me in the past.

I finally broke down and bought some new clothes last night. I’m heading to an education conference next week and got a wake up call on my wardrobe at work yesterday. My pants were falling off (again) and the seat of the pants was pretty much sagging to my knees. I also didn’t have any blouses left that I could comfortably wear to work. They’re all so big now that they just made me look super frumpy.

Once more through the laundry machine to ensure they’re all clean and I’ll be adding the pants and blouses to the bags of clothes we’re donating. 

My closet seems so much bigger now that it’s nearly empty! Half of it is taken up with workout clothes. I expect when I get closer to my goal that will change drastically.

It’s oddly difficult to give up clothes I’ve been wearing in order to make room for proper fitting ones. I haven’t yet added my “skinny” jeans to the mix but I know I should. They were the first pair of women’s jeans I’d purchased when I started losing weight but they’re at least 2 sizes too big now.

Shopping was an interesting experience. Mostly because I had no clue what size I wore. Sure, I know that the clothes I had previously are all too big, but I didn’t know what the right size would be. Vanity sizing continues at most women’s clothing stores it appears. While the shirt size was pretty consistent, I ended up buying pants and skirts in 3 different sizes!

All of what I’ve just bought should still fit fine when we go on our family cruise in 3 weeks. I do have to pick up a few things like shorts and (probably) jeans for the cruise though. I’m just bringing my super crazy extra large shorts with me to the conference. When I get home I’ll worry about replacing them with a few pairs of medium sized shorts.  Can’t give up all my clown clothes at once.

I should also mention that hubs, while wandering around the store helping me pick out new clothes (which he’s never willingly participated in to this degree in the past), found a great dress for me to wear to the conference awards gala dinner. It should also work great on the cruise if we decide to dress up one evening. All I have to do now is figure out how to walk in strappy sandal type shoes without killing myself.

I was poking about on http://www.phord.com/cc/ today trying to guestimate what my maintenance calories will be based on my goal weight and imagined fitness level. Depending on my activity level it looks like my BMR will sit somewhere between 1660-1870. Quite a range.

I also learned that if I were 4in taller, I’d get to eat between 1750-1970. Oh, to be a taller (or younger) woman!

Interestingly enough, when I entered in the option of completely sedentry (which I don’t ever plan on being again) and my goal weight of 50 lbs lighter, I learned that my BMR is pretty much the same as the reduced calorie plan I’m following now.  Then again, I don’t have a big deficit due to lack of eating… Most of my deficit comes from exercise.

Since I’ve been unable to exercise with the same vigor and frequency as when I first started the lifestyle change due to knee rehab process, I’ve dropped my intake from 1500-1600 to about 1450 these past few weeks. I’m hoping to be able to increase my exercise slowly as the muscles start to strengthen around my knee.

I was at a convention last year and listened to Adam Baldwin recount his experiences with Ride to Recovery (see his blog post here – http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/abaldwin/2009/04/20/ride-2-recovery-an-amazing-journey-2 /). During during the story he talked of a time where he felt exhausted and wanted to give up. One of the vets (who, if I recall correctly, was a multiple amputee) dropped back from the pack to where Adam was huffing and puffing away, looked at him, and said “what are you, a pussy?” He talked about the inspiration of spending time with people who don’t give up.

Shortly afterwards, m?y husband and I had out picture taken with Adam and I look hideous. I was a short, round ball with arms and legs.

My embarassment over the picture and Adam’s story inspired me to get off my duff and start learning to live a healthier lifestyle. And every time I even think about giving up or going back to my old ways, I hear Adam’s voice in my head asking “what are you, a pussy?” It’s working for me so far. 42lbs lost since the beginning of the year and I’m finally no longer classified as obese. I still have a long way to go, but I’m getting there one small change at a time.

apparently it’s find my limits week. cleared for some leg work at gym and to run until knee begins to ache