Drew and I saw Saving Private Ryan (SPR) when it first was released in theatres many years ago. At the time I thought the cinematography and direction were amazing but I wasn’t that impressed with Tom Hanks’ acting. On the heels of Philadelphia and Forrest Gump, it seemed to me at the time that Hanks was just wandering aimlessly through SPR and was capable of so much more.

I recall being annoyed when Hanks was nominated for an Oscar for the performance. At the time, I’d felt he received the nomination not because of his work, but simply because of who he was. I didn’t have the appropriate context to understand just how nuanced his performance was at the time.

Years passed and I never felt the urge to see the movie again. There exists a number of powerful, well acted movies – each outstanding examples on their own merit – that I believe it’s important to watch at least once. After that I rarely have any desire to watch them again. Large chunks are permanently imprinted on the brain. Movies such as Bastard Out Of Carolina and Schindler’s List come to mind.

I’ve always considered SPR to be one of those movies because of it’s vivid and frank portrayals of the brutality and often senselessness of war – even if the ultimate cause is considered to be of benefit for the greater good. Unlike many Hollywood war movies, SPR (and, to a degree, Platoon) doesn’t have a shiny happy ending. Even in survival there is a continual sense of loss and conflict. Of wounds that haunt and may never heal.

This semester I’ve spent significant time studying stress, fatigue, combat stress reactions (CSR) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in my Mil Psych class.

This has provided me with a new context in which to view the acting in SPR. It is as if I’d watched the film years ago without my glasses and now have seen it, for the first time, in all it’s bare and naked glory. Based on my readings and research Hanks, and many of the other actors in the film, provided realistic portrayals of both positive and negative elements of CSR – sometimes periodically, sometimes for the entire duration – in the film.

Bravo Mr. Hanks et al.

I now wonder if the cast members suffered some symptoms of trauma from their experiences? While any symptoms would be unlikely to be lasting as the actual “fear of death” associated with post-traumatic reactions, symptoms can be developed psychosomatically.

Whatever the case for the actors, elements of the movie’s portrayal of battles and D-Day did have an impact on others who’d experienced war first hand. We know that many WWI and WWII vets, along with other service members, suffered flashbacks and re-newed trauma and required counceling post movie viewing.

With context has come appreciation. Despite this new illumination, I think it’ll be another 10+ years before I watch the movie again.

Argh! I had a complete post written on my iPhone and accidentally hit the cancel button instead of the save button. Here’s hoping I’m smarter and better co-ordinated the second time round.

Drew has written and asked that I pass the following message on to our friends and family who have been sending pacakged to him and the soldiers on his crew that he put up for “adoption”.

Do not send packages after March 15.

Anything sent after March 15 is not guaranteed to arrive in theatre before they come leave for home.

We’re told that the soldiers will be responsible for paying the commercial shipping charges from point of origin to return the packages to Canada if any arrive after the soldiers have been sent home. He’s also said that it would be international shipping charges as the packages will not be shipped back to Canada through Trenton.

I can’t speak for everyone but I know that Drew and I certainly can’t afford to pay shipping charges for packages returned to him from KAF with my impending job loss looming.

So, help me keep my peace of mind and don’t send any packages after March 15.

Also, if you haven’t yet received a letter from Drew or your adopted soldier, let me assure you that they certainly appreciate receiving your letters and packages these past few months. Mail call is the highlight of many people’s days and weeks while overseas. Everyone here has done a fabulous job of brightening their days.

Thank you.

Talked to Drew tonight and he sounds super tired. His shift has changed at work so he’s now working longer hours, 7 days a week. Lots of yawning and quiet inside voices tonight.

He says he’s doing well and doesn’t need anything other than letters for the moment. His bunk and office are stocked with snacks and he’s shared out quite a bit with his co-workers. He’s got a good selection of books to read and those too will join the Canada House “library” for others to enjoy at some point.

Apparently I didn’t do something correctly in the home video recording/transfer process as the CD I sent didn’t seem to have anything on it. Or so Drew claims. I know I tested it to make sure the videos woud play so we suspect that I mailed a blank CD instead of the one I burned. I’ll have to check the CDs in the office to see if that’s the case. I know they all play in Windows Media Player and he has that installed so that doesn’t appear to be the problem. If I can’t find the original CD I made here I’ll create a new one and send it off soon.

Still no firm idea when he’s coming home. Definitely before the trip to San Diego. More than that isn’t know at this time.

I was supposed to spend the weekend doing school work. I haven’t accomplished as much in that arena as I should have. I did get my weekly assignment (due Mondays) in on Saturday afternoon and got some bits of cleaning done around the house. However, there’s a tonne of reading I need to have completed by the end of the week that I was hoping to finish early that was never touched. I guess I know what I’ll be doing each evening after work next week.

Instead of studying, I spent the afternoon at Costco and Safeway grocery shopping with my neighbour J. When we got home with our goodies L helped cart it al inside. Comes in handy does our L. Especially when I need to get 50 lb boxes of cat litter from the truck into the basement. I know it seems a bit ridiculous to buy such huge amounts of cat litter when I’m out at Costco but, getting it into the house aside, it is far more convenient. The humongous box lasts just over a month what with two cats in the house. The smaller bags/boxes at grocery stores and Zellers don’t last half as long and cost significantly more.

I’ll need his help soon with dog and cat food. As with the cat litter, The monster bags of food are pretty heavy. Getting them into the truck isn’t too hard since they have stock people at the vet supply place who are always willing to help. The challenge, as always, is getting it out of the truck and into the basement when I arrive home. I think I’ve got about a month left in the current stock Drew picked up before he left for KAF. I knew I should have asked him to pick up more than two bags of each.

Nothing much else to report on the home front. Drew mentioned the change back to my black and grey blog theme so I know he’s still popping by to read and check in with “local” news. I thought it might be nice if I opened up the comments for messages intended for Drew to read. He’ll see them the next time he has access to the Internet an drops by the blog. So, get commenting :). If we’re lucky, perhaps we’ll see a few replied from him as well.

Earlier this week I got a package in the mail with generic deployment information. One of the booklets in the package was titled “preparing for deployment stress”. A bit like closing the barn door after the horses get out. Drew has been gone for over a month now.

This isn’t his first deployment. Prior to that I’d already spent months on end away from home working in the US and India. Temporary separations are pretty much the norm for us. I know we’re an oddity in some sections of the military community because of it. Usually it’s just the serving member who’s gone and always the spouse left at home. Not at our house. I’ve spent far more time away from home due to work over the years than Drew has.

So, while I miss him when he’s not here, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself and the fur babies while he’s away. With occassional spurts of whining injected into my conversation and blog posts.

I’m certain that the services offers by the MFRC for remaining spouses or families are very useful for some people. Personally, I’m not a fan. On his last deployment I found their continual “check in” calls a bigger source of stress than Drew’s absence. Some woman called me repeatedly at work trying to convince me to take days off to attend coffee sessions and gatherings with other wives during the day. Despite my repeated requests for her to stop calling and my refusals to attend daytime events, the woman wouldn’t stop calling me at work and home. Drove me bonkers.

This time round they are holding events on evenings and weekends along with the daytime activities. This I know because I’m receiving an event list via email. Nothing on the list has interested me to date. Mostly because I don’t like being put into situations with groups of strangers. Especially if the only thing we have in common is that our spouses are deployed.

Want to increase my deployment stress to the point where I cease to function? Make me attend MFRC events.

This trip Drew had the option to refuse to provide the MFRC with my contact info and for that I am incredibly grateful.

Everyone else – the rear party, chaplain, etc. – all know how to get in touch with me if necessary. Thus the occassional email, package, or phone message left on voice mail. But unlike before – the calls are infrequent and there’s no pressure to skip work to attend their events.

I have a great support network. Friends and former co-workers. My awesome neighbours. People who I spend time with socially at least once a month when Drew is home. That’s continued since he’s been gone. Add to that work, school and blogging and I barely have time left to breathe.

Who needs to prepare for deployment stress? At this point – not me!

Damian has landed in the Sandbox and, as expected, does not disappoint.

Read his first post here.

Then, read his post on IEDs.

But here’s what we as Canadians don’t already know: that the Taliban victories plastered all over our media, and imprinted upon the national consciousness in 2008 represented less than 4% of the total IED incidents in Kandahar province during that time. And that percentage has nearly halved from the year before, when it was 7%.

…

IED’s continue to be the single greatest threat to Canadian life in Kandahar, and will remain so for the foreseeable future. But the story the Canadian public has seen to this point is not the full picture.

If you haven’t done so already – take a few minutes and spare some change for his tip jar to help defray his costs. Click the Donate button on the bottom of his latest post, or the Chip In widget on every page.  Hey, if a military family planning their second ever vacation in nearly 14 years (the first, being at the “almost 13 year mark) can do it, so can you!

Ian Shantz from the Barrie Examiner is also on the same trip and you can read about his experiences here.  Archie McLean with the Edmonton Journal will be joining them soon and blogging from here.  According to Mr. McLean:

The blog was kept by my Journal colleagues Graham Thomson and Ryan Cormier when they were in Afghanistan in 2007 and 2008 and the archives contain all kinds of great pictures and words from that troubled region.

News of 408’s Helicopters was printed in the Edmonton Sun today.