Skip guessing my name. Most of you know it already. Read the rant instead.

We continue to deal with “the great fallout of 2009” and so I didn’t leave work until 8pm last night. Hey, I’m writing this at 2am. Friday is officially “last night”. Mostly I left because I could no longer see straight or think coherently. After 11.5 hours of working (Lunch? Breaks? What are those?) I’m certain my brain has turned to mush. And I was afraid I’d get locked in the building and have to call security to get out. Nearly all of my co-workers are gone at 4pm or earlier on a Friday. Most of us come in earlier in the morning to leave earlier… I was damn close to being alone. No one else was in my office bank. Even the cleaning crew was done hours earlier. My closest co-worker (that I know of who remained behind) was a building away…

I have a paper due this weekend. I have a doctor appointment later this afternoon. And I can’t forget the Celt-X Robbie Burns night party at night. Gotta charge the camcorder batteries for that. Taking home movies to send to Drew and all that.

I’m officially taking Saturday off from the work project that’s now due Monday. No work for me. I’ll pick it back up on Sunday.

I am slowly beginning to realize that work isn’t worth screwing up my own school schedule or negatively impacting my grades, health or family life. My job certainly doesn’t pay me enough, or acknowledge my hard work or skills enough, to make me rank it above my school work, sleep, etc. on a weekend!

You might not recognize it but I know I’ve come a long way in a few years. Not long ago I would have set all my own needs and desires aside to do whatever it took to get a job done. Years of being ignored and taken for granted at work are finally beginning to sink in. I can kill myself to get project finished and no one will notice or blink an eye. Its my own fault. I’ve set that expectation in others. Need to put out a fire? Of course I’ll ignore my husband or school life to do whatever you need to make the company look good… You get the picture. Sure the new place isn’t as bad as the previous place I worked – they haven’t scheduled me 17 hour days with no breaks for weeks on end for example – but in many ways it’s the same. I often wonder if anyone even knows I exist or what I do. So much so that I’m not sure I have any idea what exactly my job entails…

I just do what needs to be done.

My mom worries that I talk about work too much on my blog. She’s afraid future employers won’t hire me because of its contents. I’d like to think I’m obscure enough in my writing that future employers should have little to worry about. I don’t name names – not of my workplace or co-workers – and I don’t recall ever specifically detailing any problems at work. I try to use generalizations as much as possible.

My memory could be faulty of course.

Since I started blogging in 2003 I’ve never hidden my site or how to find me online. This is me. Warts an all.

However, you have to know me personally to know my name, where I work, what exactly I’m working on, and what, specifically, I’m ranting about on any particular day. And if you know me that well than nothing I’d ever say about my concerns or experiences at work would ever come as a surprise to you. Mostly because you’d have already heard me spout off a detailed opinion in person. I’m mouthy like that.

I can’t control what others may choose to read into my words – those written and those left unsaid. I also can’t control the impressions others have of me thought my personal writing. If you choose to see yourself in anything I write then I can’t do anything to impact or change your perceptions. Most people I refer to in my writing are well aware of their pseudonyms (some were selected or “dictated” by said individuals), are aware of my blog and the bulk of what I’ve written about them from face-to-face conversations, and frequently have read what I’ve written about them. A bunch of them comment here off and on. If I’m off base or overly zealous in a post they can correct me anytime. And sometimes do.

Of course, if I haven’t told you personally how to find my blog and what your pseudonym is, there’s a very good chance I’m NOT writing about you. Get over yourself already!

And you thought my ego was big…

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