Despite the fancy Web site, our hotel does not fall under my definition of luxury in any sense of the word. I know I said I wanted to see how the other half lives, but I was wrong. I’m a spoiled North American and I’d rather be in a comfy and secure standard hotel than where we’re at now.

Where did we go wrong? Let’s see, the site advertises the following amenities:

1. 24 hours room service – not even close. I’ve yet to have a meal at this place. Not that that’s a bad thing if the rooms are anything to go by.
2. Elevator to all floors – only 2 people can use it at a time. I’ve been getting a lot of exercise on the stairs lately.
3. 100% power backup – not exactly. We’ve had a number of brown outs and my first took place while I was in the shower. Not exactly comforting when there’s no windows and no source of light.
4. Wall to wall carpeting in all rooms – try laminate flooring. I see no carpeting anywhere.
5. Direct dial STD/ISD facility – the phones in the room have no dialtone. When people try to call us, they get a busy signal and can’t get through. We’re getting cell phone simm chips so we can be reached.
6. Colour TV with satellite channels – don’t know, haven’t turned it on yet.
7. Same day dry cleaning & laundry
8. Fridge in all rooms
9. Running hot and cold water – try running cold water all around the bathroom floor from a leaky toilet and you’d be closer to the mark. There’s lukewarm water in the sink, but the water in the shower is freezing cold. I do have a nice bucket to use in the meantime *shudder*
10. Valet service
11. Safe deposit – not in the rooms. There are signs asking you to deposit all valuables at the front desk. The guy at the front desk was sleeping with a blanket covering his head. Doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the security. Explains why we’re sleeping with our valuables though!
12. Credit card acceptance
13. Doctor on call
14. Travel services – just don’t count on airport pickup. We’re 0 for 2.

So, what’s good about the hotel? It’s a short walk to work, so Ted and I made the jaunt together this evening to call the boss and let her know the situation. As always, she put on the hero boots, cape and belt and is working on new accommodations for us.

There’s no way any of us could have known what we were getting into, so it’s been a learning experience all around. I’m feeling older and wiser already.

Keep your fingers crossed. We’re moving to a new hotel on Sunday.

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