eyes of the beholder

Scribbled down on April 2nd, 2007 by she
Posted in Frothing At The Bit

Warning: The basis of the opinion expressed below is my personal experiences with a variety of people as we’ve moved from province to province. I know it’s occasionally reflective of bits and pieces of my own personality. It may not be representative of you, the reader. However, you may want to take a quick peek in the mirror just to be sure.

One of my favourite things about Canadians is our self-depreciating humour and ability to poke fun at ourselves, no matter what the situation. Our best comics are brimming with the skill and many of our popular comedy shows (Made in Canada, Corner Gas, etc.) are ripe with it.

In a country with multiple cultures, languages, and regional variations, our ability to laugh at ourselves is perhaps the one shared experience that flows from sea to sea to sea. As my high school English teacher used to say (Hi Mr. Horgan!) Canada is divided, not only in literature but in politics and physical landscape, by what can be most easily classified as a regional mentality. “We don’t live at the butt end of the earth, but you can sure see it from here”.

A few months ago I posted the Manitoba Driver’s Handbook on my site. It’s a standard email chain joke, but one that I felt particularly attached to after learning to drive in Winnipeg. By the same token, I posted the Rules for entering Alberta – another silly chain email not too long ago. Imagine my surprise when a commenter wrote that they were embarrassed to be an Albertan after reading the joke and how happy they were that they lived in Edmonton where this attitude isn’t as prevalent.

Guess they didn’t notice I’m located in Edmonton – or weren’t aware that the original source of the email (on it’s way to me) was a born and bred Edmontonian. It struck me how easy it is for people to see or hear the same thing and yet interpret it completely differently. While Wendy and I appreciated the “joke” for it’s tiny moments of truth (there are some Albertans who’d love these rules), over-the top pronouncements, and ability to stand on a soapbox and say it’s OK to make fun of ourselves, someone else read the posting and interpreted it in a literal fashion. Personally, it never occurred to me to take anything in the original email/posting as the literal truth ™.

Perhaps that’s because I don’t believe there’s a one true way for anything – culture, religion, education, etc. Or perhaps it’s because I’m particularly proud of our ability to make fun of ourselves. Either way, when we have a negative reaction to something we read, I think we all need to take a step back and take a moment to try to understand whether or not our negativity is the result of our own internal bias’ and interpretation of what we’re reading, or if it’s caused by something that directly contradicts our own morals and values. More often than not, I’ve noticed that my own negative reactions aren’t caused by the person I’m conversing with, but rather by the interpretation (spin) I place on their words.

I am responsible for my own bias and the roadblocks that develop as a result of them are my own issues. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to help show me a better way to walk through the world or interact with others. If you’re offended by something, take a step back, and determine why you’re offended. Only when we’re reflecting on our own beliefs, mores, and values can we really open ourselves to viewing the world as a multi-faceted place where there’s room for everyone.

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5 Responses to “eyes of the beholder”

  1. […] eyes of the beholder […]

  2. Your last sentence has me on my feet and cheering. “Everyone is different, and that’s a good thing,” I tell my kids over and over. And as I work on my fiction, one thing in the forefront of my brain is that the fictional city of Riverview, USA is multi-everything and blind to it all. A true melting pot.

    Okay. I’m off my soapbox and headed to bed (Mars is on Eastern Time, don’tcha know). But I’ll be cheering this in my dreams.

  3. Here here!!!! I believe that the source of intolerances can be located in the mirror.

    I learned in a seminar last week that one of the best ways to make this world a happier place is to just not take our ownselves so seriously. If we celebrate our differences, whether it be race, colour, religion, or sense of humour instead of making a fuss over it, then there will be a lot fewer uptight people.

  4. Excellent post! Here in the T home it’s mandatory to be able to laugh at ourselves. Heaven help you if you can’t. There is plenty in this world to be serious about, we don’t need to drag it around on our backs all the time.

  5. i love this blog i miss you

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