1. Q. What’s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
   A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.
2. Q. What’s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
   A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
3. Q. How can you tell a piper with perfect pitch?
   A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
4. Q. What’s the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
   A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don’t return it.
5. Q. How many pipers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
   A. 5-one to do it, and four to criticise his fingering style.
6. Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman?
   A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.
7. Q. What’s the range of a bagpipe?
   A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
8. A piper was sick of the band abusing him, and decided to start his own. He walked into a music shop, planning to buy the first instruments he saw. Give me the red saxophone and that accordion! he said. The assistant replied, You play the pipes, don’t you? The piper responded, That’s right. Why? The assistant smiled; Well, the fire extinguisher I can sell you – but the radiator stays.
9. Q. Why do pipers always walk when they play?
   A. Moving targets are harder to hit.
10. Q. How do you put a twinkle in a piper’s eye?
    A. Shine a light in his ear.
11. Ireland gave the Scots the bagpipes . . . and they still haven’t gotten the joke yet
12. A Canadian Officer, pinned down with his unit in 1944 in Italy, urgently signaled his CO. Need reinforcements to rescue us, please send six tanks or one piper.
13. By some rare chance. A piper ends up in hell. Satan passes him one day and says, “Well, Scotty, hot enough for you?” “Well, to tell ya the truth son, the Enumclaw Highland games was hotter than this”.
    So Satan has the demons start stoking the furnaces more. The next day Satan asks again, “Hey, Scotty, hot enough for you?” “Well, to tell ya the truth son, the Tacoma Highland games was just as hot”.
    Satan has the demons REALLY start stoking the furnaces. The furnaces are so hot there glowing cherry red and the demons are starting to pass out from the heat. After a day of this Satan asks “Well Scotty, hot enough for you now?!” “Well, to tell ya the truth son, my band practice hall was just as hot”.
    Satan is furious. Tells his demons to shut off the furnace. Cranks the air conditioning on. ALL THE WAY,. ICE IS EVERYWHERE.
    The next hour Satan goes to see the piper. He’s shivering and slapping himself to try to stay warm, but he’s jumping up and down celebrating.
    Satan looks at him and says, “Now, Scotty, you’re obviously not doing well in this cold. Just why are you celebrating?”
    Scotty says to him “are you kiddin’, Man? ‘ Hell’s just frozen over! That means MY BAND JUST WON THE WORLD PIPE BAND CHAMPIONSHIPS!

Side Drummers:
Vaults over fences
Is allowed his own sidearm
Can read a railway timetable
Knows how to put on fishing gollashes
Believes in God

Tenor Drummers:
Can open and walk through a door
Knows which is the dangerous end of a gun
Has his own train set
Wears Wellington boots
Talks to himself

Bass Drummers:
Trips over matchsticks
Is NEVER allowed near firearms
Says “Look at CHOO-CHOO”
Plays in puddles
Nobody listens to him

THE PIPE MAJOR:
Lifts tall buildings and walks underneath them
Catches bullets in her teeth and chews them
Kicks locomotives off their tracks
Drinks entire oceans
She IS GOD!!!!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

1. Shoes
2. Ode to Mum
3. Things dogs chew
4. Caylynn’s Contemplations (double post) – 13 Conflicts Past and Present in which Canadians Have Served and 13 Ways to Take Part in Veterans’ Week
5. Wylie Kinson – If I ruled the world
6. Any and all of Joy’s Thankful Thursday Thirteens
7. Title Deleted for Security Reasons – What not to do (aka: Bad! Bad! No, no, no, no, no!)
8. Tinkerbell – Thirteen goals of a witch
9. Writing Aspirations – 13 grammar rules used by moi
10. Title Deleted for Security Reasons – Font of Useless Knowledge
11. Whiskey Talking – Important Life Questions (aka Thursday Thirteen #57)
12. West of Mars – Farming the Home
13. This Ecclectic Life – Signs of Blogging Addiction

1. You do what? – Brief description of the world of Instructional Design (well, my world anyway).
2. is informal learning the wave of the future?
3. training connundrum
4. the road not taken
5. no regrets
6. Travel blogging – 26 hours in Singapore
7. Travel blogging – Touring Mumbai – Saturday and Touring Mumbai – Sunday
8. Travel blogging – Whirlwind tour of Agra – part 1 and Whirlwind tour of Agra – part deux
9. Canada in Afghanistan – Supporting Our Troops, moral promises, at what cost peace?, rules of engagement, the emperor has no clothes, long hard road
10. Lest we forget
11. 12.06.1989
12. blinded by the light
13. apples and oranges

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

1. Despite the name, men are welcome on Women Build sites. They just have to be patient and share the power tools.
2. The Women Build hard hats are neon pink.
3. ALWAYS wear the hard hat. You never know when you’re going to bean yourself on a cross-beam or smack yourself in the head with a broom handle (yes, I did – no, I didn’t stand on it).
4. It’s easier to toe-nail a block in than it is to nail it in from the side when you’re blocking wood at the bottom of stairs for baseboard/trim support.
5. Those of us who brought out own safety equipment (glasses, gloves, shoes) didn’t end up with any blisters from improper fitted items. I knew there was a good reason to buy my own safety shoes!
6. It doesn’t matter how good your hammer is if you don’t have room to swing it.
7. Mud is quickly tracked through the building and takes ages to scrape off the floors and shovel out the door – but everyone has to participate in clean-up before the day is over.
8. The site supervisor tries to match you to jobs that fit your skills (or lack thereof) and abilities. If you’re afraid of heights, they won’t make you climb scaffolding and hang off the roof.
9. It may not bother you at the time, but crawling up and down wooden stairs on your knees hurts like hell 24 hours later.
10. The safety video shows people wearing shorts and t-shirts. I’d recommend jeans and long sleeves – less abrasions and scarring in the end…
11. Demolition is far more satisfying than construction. Especially if it’s NOT the section you just nailed in that you’re tearing apart.
12. Drink lots of water. Even if you think you’re not thirsty, drink it anyway. Dehydration sneaks up on you.
13. It’s an awesome way to build team spirit and spend time with co-workers outside of your work environment. You learn a lot about people on a project like this.

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

1. My in-laws are on Facebook – it’s an easy way to catch up on what’s going on in their lives.
2. I connected with over a dozen people I’d gone to pre-school and elementary school with. We’d all grown up together and in many cases followed each other through until high school I missed my 10 year high school reunion, so this was my first opporuntity to catch up.
3. My college roomies are all on Facebook now. We had to share memories and drinking stories.
4. I needed to view the updated pictures of my godchild.
5. Some of my childhood friends were on an exchange trip with the school my husband attended. I needed to get pictures from his high school years and pick up stories from the time before we’d me.
6. I’ve re-connected with my childhood best friend, who I hadn’t communicated with since grade 8.
7. Kids I babysat as infants are now in university and I had to catch up on what’s new in their lives through their Facebook pages.
8. Everyone needed to see pictures of the hubby once he’d returned from his month away in the field. Otherwise, no one would believe he’d grown a mustache and hadn’t shaved his head in over a month.
9. I reconnected with the guy who’d introduced me to my hubby. I had to spend time thanking him.
10. I had to post messages of adoration on Clayton’s Facebook page.
11. I wanted to know who else worked at the same college I am now employed by.
12. I needed to commisserate with former co-workers on the groups message boards.
13. Facebook is a social software phenomenon that we’ve been discussing at work and that has been the feature of some presentations at the eLearning conference I’m attending this week. I was doing research!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!