Just as I’m getting all my gear together for the build day tomorrow, I caught a snippet on the news where a local neighbourhood is fighting to stop a 47 home development project that Habitat for Humanity would like to build. If approved, the built would provide housing for 47 families earning between $30 and 50 thousand a year.

The complaints all seem to centre around the “not in my backyard” argument. Citizens interviewed on TV loudly worried about how the value of their home and neighbourhood would decrease with the influx of Habitat home owners.

I’m thoroughly disgusted!

Habitat home owners put in numerous hours of sweat equity helping to build other’s homes before they beginning working on their own. They assume a mortgage and will make payments at a reduced (or non-existent) interest rate. If they miss payments, Habitat homes can be foreclosed upon. These are people who aren’t asking for a handout, they’re working their way up in the world and deserve as much help as we can give them.

The homes will be sold for approximately $260,000 and aren’t going for chump change. Drive around any Habitat homes and you’ll find houses that are beautifully kept and often the nicest yards and presentation in the neighbourhood. There’s a lot of pride that goes with home ownership and Habitat homes are no exception.

As for the argument that low income home owners decrease the value of properties, obviously the people in this neighbour hood haven’t visited mine. We’re mostly middle class – with more hitting the lower middle class (you know, that $40-60 thousand a year mark) than the upper. In my experience, what makes or breaks a neighbourhood is the community involvement and the friendships you make with those living beside you.

I sincerely hope that none of the people fighting the Habitat for Humanity project fall on hard times…lest they find themselves face to face with the attitude they’re presenting to the world and a complete lack of empathy for others.

Technorati Tags: Habitat for Humanity, Women Build

Warning: The basis of the opinion expressed below is my personal experiences with a variety of people as we’ve moved from province to province. I know it’s occasionally reflective of bits and pieces of my own personality. It may not be representative of you, the reader. However, you may want to take a quick peek in the mirror just to be sure.

One of my favourite things about Canadians is our self-depreciating humour and ability to poke fun at ourselves, no matter what the situation. Our best comics are brimming with the skill and many of our popular comedy shows (Made in Canada, Corner Gas, etc.) are ripe with it.

In a country with multiple cultures, languages, and regional variations, our ability to laugh at ourselves is perhaps the one shared experience that flows from sea to sea to sea. As my high school English teacher used to say (Hi Mr. Horgan!) Canada is divided, not only in literature but in politics and physical landscape, by what can be most easily classified as a regional mentality. “We don’t live at the butt end of the earth, but you can sure see it from here”.

A few months ago I posted the Manitoba Driver’s Handbook on my site. It’s a standard email chain joke, but one that I felt particularly attached to after learning to drive in Winnipeg. By the same token, I posted the Rules for entering Alberta – another silly chain email not too long ago. Imagine my surprise when a commenter wrote that they were embarrassed to be an Albertan after reading the joke and how happy they were that they lived in Edmonton where this attitude isn’t as prevalent.

Guess they didn’t notice I’m located in Edmonton – or weren’t aware that the original source of the email (on it’s way to me) was a born and bred Edmontonian. It struck me how easy it is for people to see or hear the same thing and yet interpret it completely differently. While Wendy and I appreciated the “joke” for it’s tiny moments of truth (there are some Albertans who’d love these rules), over-the top pronouncements, and ability to stand on a soapbox and say it’s OK to make fun of ourselves, someone else read the posting and interpreted it in a literal fashion. Personally, it never occurred to me to take anything in the original email/posting as the literal truth ™.

Perhaps that’s because I don’t believe there’s a one true way for anything – culture, religion, education, etc. Or perhaps it’s because I’m particularly proud of our ability to make fun of ourselves. Either way, when we have a negative reaction to something we read, I think we all need to take a step back and take a moment to try to understand whether or not our negativity is the result of our own internal bias’ and interpretation of what we’re reading, or if it’s caused by something that directly contradicts our own morals and values. More often than not, I’ve noticed that my own negative reactions aren’t caused by the person I’m conversing with, but rather by the interpretation (spin) I place on their words.

I am responsible for my own bias and the roadblocks that develop as a result of them are my own issues. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to help show me a better way to walk through the world or interact with others. If you’re offended by something, take a step back, and determine why you’re offended. Only when we’re reflecting on our own beliefs, mores, and values can we really open ourselves to viewing the world as a multi-faceted place where there’s room for everyone.

Technorati Tags: interpretation, regional mentality, joke, self-depreciating humour

When my dad was dying, the mantra around my parents house was that most people were never told he was ill because “dad was a very private man”. Sure, I knew my dad didn’t often talk about himself and hated to have people poke through his possessions, but I never realized how strongly I shared this attitude until recently.

It may seem that I’ll write about anything when I’m blogging, but that’s not 100% accurate. I self-edit before I ever hit the publish button. There are a number of things I just don’t write about. As therapeutic as blogging can be I still have limits to the degree of self-confession that appears on these pages. Amazingly enough, despite the limits I’ve imposed on myself, I’ve still managed to pour a large chunk of my guts out over the blog-o-sphere.

A few months ago I’d learned that our pet sitters had pawed through our family photo albums while we were on vacation. The hubby couldn’t understand why I found this so offensive considering the albums were left on a shelf in the den only a few feet from the television.

Tonight, I have been watching my mom paw through other family albums and boxes of momentos and the longer it continues, the more my skin crawls. I’m offended that she doesn’t see anything wrong with going through my things without first asking for permission. I’m annoyed that she’s pulling photos and certificates out and demanding answers or details surrounding them – information I’d be lucky to pull out of my head after a good 15-30 minutes of hard thought…

Mostly, I’m angry with myself for sitting here quietly, typing out my feelings rather than just coming out and saying something about it. So why don’t I? Mom just doesn’t see anything wrong with her behaviour. I’ve tried asking her not to do things in the past and explain my point of view. She sees the world differently than I and just can’t imagine a world view that doesn’t match her own. I learned decades ago it’s better to sit down, shut up, and just let her do what she wishes rather than trying to get her to respect my wishes, opinions, or personal space.

Maybe someday I’ll grow a backbone again.

Technorati Tags: privacy, pet peeve, annoyances

Today is the 17th anniversary of the massacre at Ecole polytechnique in Montreal. Each year on this date the country seems to slow down as we take the time to mourn those murdered. We mourn 14 women who’s names are rarely known by anyone other than their immediate friends and family. We are inundated by stories and we remember the women – not for who they were or could have been, but the legacy of their deaths.

It’s an important time to pause and reflect on what has and hasn’t changed in the past 17 years. The long gun registry spawned from this event has done little to stem the rising tide of gun related violence in the country. It seems to be making criminals out of hunters and farmers while doing nothing to slow down the sale and usage of illegally obtained weapons.

As I read news articles and catch snippets on the TV news, I’ve noticed that many of those interviewed are using today as a soap box to decry the recent cuts to federal funding of the Status of Women. I’m happy to see the funding to this department cut – as long as the money previously allocated is designated to support grass routes programs to improve the lives of all Canadians.

In situations such as the Dec. 6 massacre in Montreal, it is facile to dismiss horrific incidents such as this as a men’s issue (as violent perpetrators) or a woman’s issue (as the victim). That this event occurred should never been considered the fault or responsibility of one gender over another. To do so limits the personal responsibility of the perpetrator for his actions that day. Neither gender has a lock on the roles society has deigned to assign them.

I’m tired of the culture of victim-hood that my gender has adopted in the last few years. Why are we, in 2007, focusing on splitting things down the lines of gender? Why should violence against women be more important than violence against men? Why aren’t we doing something to decrease violence on all fronts? Children learn what they live, violence often perpetrates violence, and I would argue that we are all equally responsible for the continued escalation of violence in society.

Trying to break this tragedy down the lines of gender is a slippery slope. Violence to resolve conflict (verbal, emotional or physical) is a learned behaviour. If men are more likely to commit violence against women, then wouldn’t their behaviour be the direct result of what they learned in their childhood and the actions of those who raised them?

The following statistics on child abuse would likely shock many of the same women complaining about the discontinuation of some funding to the Status of Women. Biological mothers are more likely (50% as opposed to 38%) to physically abuse their children (reference – pg.52). Biological mothers are also more likely to neglect (83% as opposed to 38%) or emotionally abuse (63% as opposed to 45%) their children (reference – pg.52). Fathers are only 4% more likely to sexually abuse their children (9% as opposed to 5%) but are 3x more likely to expose a child to domestic violence (73% as opposed to 27%) (reference – pg.52).

Do I know how to resolve the violence epidemic? No. As usual, I have many more questions than answers.

What I do know is that today should be about mourning the loss of young lives.

It should not be used for political maneuvering or whining that one gender’s issues are being ignored over another’s. It’s been my experience that the only remaining politically acceptable gender to slander, ignore, deride and degrade is the male. You’d think my gender would have realized long ago that you don’t make things better by dragging others below you as you stop over their heads on the way to greatness and so-called equality.

Technorati Tags: Montreal massacre, Status of Women, SOW, violence, gender bias, Ecole polytechnique

I’m sputtering mad but Sean Incognito does a far better job describing the irony in his chutzpah post than I ever could.

I’d like to say it’s hard to believe this is the same group that put together the insulting campaign ad during the last election (watch it here) but I shouldn’t be so surprised. Considering the types of cuts and financial difficulties many of the longer serving members had to live through as part of the Liberal governments’ effort to quash our military heritage, this is doubly disgusting.

Sure, Canadians have proven we have short memories when it comes to holding politicians on all sides of the spectrum accountable for their actions (or in-action), but do they really think we’ve all forgotten?

h/t: Dust my Broom

Technorati Tags: military, Canadian Forces, salute, Liberals