Today is the 17th anniversary of the massacre at Ecole polytechnique in Montreal. Each year on this date the country seems to slow down as we take the time to mourn those murdered. We mourn 14 women who’s names are rarely known by anyone other than their immediate friends and family. We are inundated by stories and we remember the women – not for who they were or could have been, but the legacy of their deaths.

It’s an important time to pause and reflect on what has and hasn’t changed in the past 17 years. The long gun registry spawned from this event has done little to stem the rising tide of gun related violence in the country. It seems to be making criminals out of hunters and farmers while doing nothing to slow down the sale and usage of illegally obtained weapons.

As I read news articles and catch snippets on the TV news, I’ve noticed that many of those interviewed are using today as a soap box to decry the recent cuts to federal funding of the Status of Women. I’m happy to see the funding to this department cut – as long as the money previously allocated is designated to support grass routes programs to improve the lives of all Canadians.

In situations such as the Dec. 6 massacre in Montreal, it is facile to dismiss horrific incidents such as this as a men’s issue (as violent perpetrators) or a woman’s issue (as the victim). That this event occurred should never been considered the fault or responsibility of one gender over another. To do so limits the personal responsibility of the perpetrator for his actions that day. Neither gender has a lock on the roles society has deigned to assign them.

I’m tired of the culture of victim-hood that my gender has adopted in the last few years. Why are we, in 2007, focusing on splitting things down the lines of gender? Why should violence against women be more important than violence against men? Why aren’t we doing something to decrease violence on all fronts? Children learn what they live, violence often perpetrates violence, and I would argue that we are all equally responsible for the continued escalation of violence in society.

Trying to break this tragedy down the lines of gender is a slippery slope. Violence to resolve conflict (verbal, emotional or physical) is a learned behaviour. If men are more likely to commit violence against women, then wouldn’t their behaviour be the direct result of what they learned in their childhood and the actions of those who raised them?

The following statistics on child abuse would likely shock many of the same women complaining about the discontinuation of some funding to the Status of Women. Biological mothers are more likely (50% as opposed to 38%) to physically abuse their children (reference – pg.52). Biological mothers are also more likely to neglect (83% as opposed to 38%) or emotionally abuse (63% as opposed to 45%) their children (reference – pg.52). Fathers are only 4% more likely to sexually abuse their children (9% as opposed to 5%) but are 3x more likely to expose a child to domestic violence (73% as opposed to 27%) (reference – pg.52).

Do I know how to resolve the violence epidemic? No. As usual, I have many more questions than answers.

What I do know is that today should be about mourning the loss of young lives.

It should not be used for political maneuvering or whining that one gender’s issues are being ignored over another’s. It’s been my experience that the only remaining politically acceptable gender to slander, ignore, deride and degrade is the male. You’d think my gender would have realized long ago that you don’t make things better by dragging others below you as you stop over their heads on the way to greatness and so-called equality.

Technorati Tags: Montreal massacre, Status of Women, SOW, violence, gender bias, Ecole polytechnique

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