The year before my dad was diagnosed with cancer, he and Drew climbed to the top of Whistler’s mountain in the Alberta Rocky mountains. For most people it’s not too hard of a climb. You take a tram most of the way up and climb the final 800 (or so) feet on your own.

I’m terrified of heights and never made it to the top. About a third of the way up I started shaking and freaking out. I managed to make it within sight of the summit before my journey ended. It was such a slow process for me. My body had no problem making the trek. My mind had a different set of priorities. My brain was convinced I was going to fall off the mountain. I was determined to try and get to the top but the teenage girls I was with at the time demanded to go to the bathroom and needed to be walked back down the mountain. By the time I’d taken them back I was shaking so much I knew I couldn’t manage a second attempt.

Mum only made it about 1/2 way to the top. She too suffers from a fear of heights. I remember how proud dad was that she’d managed to get that far up the mountain – knowing how scared she must have been trying to walk her way there. He kept talking about her fear of heights and how hard it must have been to have managed to get that far.

I can’t remember how far up the mountain my sister made it. So consumed by vertigo was I that I can’t place where she was in the mix.

I remember Drew running up and down the mountain a few times while dad stood at the top taking lots of pictures. One moment he was at the top with dad. The next he was with me. Then mum. Then the bottom with the kids. Then back up at the top with dad. I remember thinking how nice it must be to run around a mountain and not be terrified of “rolling off”.

When I was home last spring I got a small bag of dad’s ashes. We plan to walk to the top of the mountain to release them. He loved being there so much. Mum is planning on visiting when Drew returns home to make the trek. Surrounded by a boatload of women afraid of heights it will be a slow journey. But if dad could make it to the top of the mountain, so can we.

Shaking and squeamish the entire way. We can do this.

What “mountains” will you try to summit this year?

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