I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps my expectations are a bit too high these days.  This evening my mark was returned for my Enviro Chem paper and I nearly cried.  It’s the lowest mark I’ve received on any assignment or paper since I returned to university (discounting the disasters that my exams always turn out to be).  Considering the struggles I have with understanding Enviro Chem, I shouldn’t be so surprised that my marks are – at least according to me this evening – substandard.

That said, I squeaked out an A- on my paper.  I have a feeling that I should be satisfied with it and continue moving forward in the hopes of improving as the weeks progress.  I’m just worried that if I can’t keep up a minimum 3.7/4.0 average that I won’t make it into grad school.  Scratch that.  I’m worried that I won’t make it to 3.7.  I’ve got two stinky 2.7s (B-)  and two 3.0s (B) on my transcripts from courses I completed before I transfered to RMC.  They haunt me.  I see B’s dancing around my head in my nightmares.

I’m feeling very overwhelmed at the moment.  Perhaps it’ll pass next week when I’m roaming the halls at ISSOTL.  I’m super excited about next week.  First, I’ve taken the whole week off so I can concentrate on school papers and assignments for a few days.  Second, I’m attending my first major education related conference.  I’ve been to a number of technical conferences over the years, but I’ve been told that an ed. conference is distinctly different.  Third, I’m a co-author (but not presenter) of one of the papers being presented at ISSOTL this year.  Yep, I have another notch on my curriculum vitae.  Perhaps this will motivate me to write a few other papers over the next few months to try and increase my publishing credits while I’m still working on my undergrad degree.

In a few days I’ll be registering for my winter courses.  Perhaps that explains my current feelings.  I checked my course plan this evening and see so many blank areas indicating courses left to be completed.  It’s like I’m swimming in glue.  I know I’m moving forward but it certainly feels like I’m treading water at the moment.

Worrying comes natural to me.  That said, I do need to get my butt in gear for my current courses.  I have two more papers and multiple assignments due before the end of the month.  Which brings me back to my happy feelings about the much needed days off next week.

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